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  ~Paris Hilton that’s just fabulous. ~Sex in the City music of your soul. ~Katharine Hepburn ~Margaret Cho ~Henry James
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Thursday, January 25, 2007 People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Dear Diary, I am very guilty of this. Sometimes its easier to lock parts of myself up so that they won't be hurt again. At least, that was my coping strategy for a long time. I know that I cannot change what happened in the past, and I'm not sure i would want to. Everything has made me who I am and I like that girl :) But at the same time, I wish I were a bit more trusting or at least that I viewed sex differently. Its not that I am a prune or even hung up, I just get uncomfortable talking about my personal preferences when it comes to sex or even intimate physical kink. I refuse to apologize for wanting needing requiring a mental/emotional connection with a man before I even care what happens physically. I do get lonely sometimes. This is new to me, I haven't really gotten lonely before, not like this. Maybe that means that growth has taken place and I am more open to something, so I miss it more. Or maybe its because I am so focused on work that I haven't left time for myself.. and since I am taking time for myself this year (resolution) I am realizing how lonely I have been the whole time? I wish I knew why I try to push people away when they begin to get closer to me. Its not something that I do on purpose, usually I still like the guy when I start picking those little arguments or voicing my opinions. I used to think its because I never really voiced my opinions honestly until I became emotionally invested in the 'friendship/relationship' and by then he didn't want to hear my opinions. Of course there is no way of knowing... my only hope is that the right One for me is not only patient but able to read between the lines. elana Labels: Dear Diary, Guys, quotes, thoughts on D/s or M/s  
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~His Pixie~ my best fairy friend who dazzled up this template with her fabulous pixie dust and imagination.
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