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Saturday, December 09, 2006 Submissive Feminism A rant by elana I watched True Hollywood Story (THS) today on Drew Barrymore. I like her as an actress, one of my favorite Barrymore movies is Ever After. It's the Cinderella story, but with a slight twist. In the movie, the girl known as Cinderella doesn't sit around and wait on Prince Charming to rescue her (like in the Disney version). She saves not only herself but others along the way. I like that concept, a lot. I think that society has molded generations of little girls into "victims" that are waiting to be rescued, not taking themselves seriously until they are a Mrs. I think, by then, its to late to take yourself seriously... because the guy you married might not see you that way. Many people say that my generation of women are stronger, more independent, and self-rescuers, but I don't think we are there yet. Our entertainment is moving in that direction, with movies such as Charlie's Angels, and shows like Buffy and Charmed. Even though feminism is making headway into Hollywood, it is still pretty clear that men should be the one saving the day. Disney is filled with masculine heroes, comic books, action movies, video games, cartoons~ you name it and women are the damsels in distress. Grace and I were both brought up on Disney movies/stories, but we were equally exposed to Red Sonja, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, and She-Ra (He-Man's ass kicking sister). Our parents encouraged us to think for ourselves, that anything is possible with hard work, dedication, and commitment to becoming a better person. Its kind of like in the Wizard of Oz, a path to self discovery showed Dorthy that she didn't need the 'Great and Powerful Oz' after all, everything she needed to make her dreams come true was inside her the whole time. Which is what our parents tried to instill in both Grace and myself. It didn't take with Grace, but I embraced it whole heartedly. I'm not a hairy legged ball busting femi-nazi. But don't tell me I can't do something because I'm a girl or worse~ a "lady". My southern pride kicks in and I will do it or hurt myself trying! I think this is where I get hypocritical sometimes. I want a man who is a man, acts like a man, and doesn't want to take a passive role in the relationship. I do have my moments of "help!" but they are often masked by my pride. However, the little girl side of me is able to voice them without retribution of it being used against me later on. Hmm maybe that is why I crave an emotional connection mirroring one between a Daddy and daughter (no I'm not attracted to my Father!)... but because he has been the only guy I can totally be vulnerable to without fear that he will attack when I'm weak or poke fun at my secrets. I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to be just someone a guy can live with, I want to be that girl he doesn't want to live without. I want him to be able to live without me and find happiness in his own life, but I want him to want to be with me... if that makes sense? I don't want to be solely responsible for someone's happiness and well-being, that is to much emotional pressure for elana. Then he doesn't want me for me, he wants me because he has to be with me... I want a guy who wants me for me, not because he is incapable of being alone. I submit because I want to, because I choose to, because I feel more complete when I am pleasing someone. It doesn't mean I am unable to live on my own, or that I'm not able to take care of myself. I don't NEED a power exchange relationship to be complete or to be who I am, but I prefer a power exchange relationship over a vanilla one. I don't think I am ever truly vanilla, not even when the guy I am seeing is vanilla. I am always myself, which means that I always put his desires before my own. For me, submission isn't sexual nor it isn't how I identify myself. At one time I did, but I have grown out of that. I no longer say "hello I'm submissive." Now I say "hello, I am elana." I have my own thoughts, opinions, and desires~ being submissive or slave doesn't mean I have to disregard my intelligence or other parts of myself. To me, it means that I put his needs before my own. I am not the robot type, and to pretend to be so would be a lie. And if I am acting that part, how can I demand honesty and integrity in a partner? Now that I have thoroughly confused myself, I'm going to bed. elana Labels: rants, thoughts on D/s or M/s  
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~His Pixie~ my best fairy friend who dazzled up this template with her fabulous pixie dust and imagination.
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