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  ~Paris Hilton that’s just fabulous. ~Sex in the City music of your soul. ~Katharine Hepburn ~Margaret Cho ~Henry James
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Saturday, November 04, 2006 Be gone! Before someone drops a house on you! If I had a pet peeve within the 'lifestyle' it would have to be the issue of training/testing. It infuriates me to be told my character is being tested! I understand that in each new relationship the submissive must be taught ways to please her new Dominant. He will teach her how to serve, beg, stand, and speak in manners that are pleasing to Him. So in that sense, yes he will train her to do as he wants/likes. But she must also teach him about her, her fears, wants, desires, and weaknesses- emotionally as well as physically. I am no expert but I feel that I know myself rather well. I have seven or eight years of adventures in this “lifestyle” and have experimented with many things, some I enjoyed and some I did not. By no means am I implying that I know everything about anything, but this is far from being my first rodeo. I am not naïve enough to fall for those newbie tricks, but I am not so educated that I can immune to all of the wolves in sheep clothing. Yes I want to meet someone who can expand my horizons, focus my mind and thoughts on serving him, teach my body to be please Him, and have such an emotional stable presence in my world that allows it to revolve around Him. Yes, I ask for a lot but in return I offer up myself, all that I am, all that I can be, my endless devotion, and obedience. The thought of being randomly trained by someone who caps his internet nickname sickens me! This may not be my place to say, but I can only think that he is sitting there at his computer jacking off to what I am saying and especially if I am actually following his directions!! Not only is that disgusting but it is insulting to what I need and desire from a Partner. How can someone who truly understands where I am coming from treat it like cheap porn? OK Perhaps he is not doing that, but seriously, what are the odds? Testing testing testing why is everyone obsessed with testing these days? As if my own character and personality will not come forward given time and conversation! So here are my questions. 1. Why are these acts of testing and/or training necessary? 2. Why are lies ‘supposed’ to be OK if they are for "testing/training purposes"? If they are permitted then, how is the submissive supposed to know what is true or a test? 3. What automatically makes the submissive the inferior one? What if she is educated, not only college wise but also 'lifestyle' wise? 4. Shouldn't the one to test or teach be the most experienced one in the 'lifestyle'? 5. How can someone who doesn't understand a submissive heart train someone to embrace it? I am not a dominant person so I cannot teach anyone to become a dominant, either they are or they are not. The same is with a submissive. Submissive protocals and behaviors can be taught, but true submission either is or isn't. 6. And if testing is ok then why is the very “Dominant” who tests the one that gets pissy when the submissive tests for her own curiosities and reassurances? Why is she "topping from the bottom", "a brat", and "not a true submissive"? 7. Until a girl gives herself to a Dominant she is still in control of her body and who has rights to it, so why do most demand access immediately (even via through webcam/pictures)? I want to introduce two scenarios that have inspired these questions: Testing: Let’s say that a guy is talking with a girl and they have been talking pretty heavily for two or three weeks. The guy knows that the girl has a trigger of people cheating on her and doesn't tolerate it respectfully. OK so let’s say the guy tells the girl an elaborate story about how he cheated on his last girl. The guy says it was justified because she couldn't have sex the last month they were together because she had given birth to his child and he "has masterly needs that must be met". Well this upsets the new girl and she asked him why he would do that and why he lied about not cheating before. The guy argues with her over it for about ten minutes until he starts laughing and tells the girl that this was a "test to see her true character" and was all a lie. So now the girl is thinking that the guy is either a cheater or a liar, right? Oh no, the guy is super pissed off now because he has "the right to test" the ways that “he sees fit” even if it IS an elaborate lie... or was it? However, the guy tells her quickly “If you cannot meet my testing requirements there are plenty of women begging me to take them and I will go to them.” Training: A guy meets a girl and decides they want to get to know each other better. The first requirement that the guy has for her is that she must go purchase and install a webcam so that he may “properly train her”. The guy goes on to explain how he will use the cam to teach her orgasm control and pain management. The guy states that if she is serious in wanting to get to know him better, she will obey him at once because he will not “wait forever”. Labels: thoughts on D/s or M/s  
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~His Pixie~ my best fairy friend who dazzled up this template with her fabulous pixie dust and imagination.
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