Sunday, September 24, 2006



I can tell you tons about those I volunteer with. I can rattle off lists of activities I have done to increase the quality of life for those around me. But ask me about myself, my own needs, desires, dreams, fantasies… Tell me to leave everyone else out of it and just answer for myself. I don’t know if I could do that.

I should be able to do that.

I want to be able to do that.

So that is my mission~ to rediscover me. I have already began, over the last couple of weeks I have realized that there are certain things I will not compromise on when it comes to speaking with a potential Partner.

No real life involvement with married men without the knowledge and support of their current wife. I feel sorry for those spouse wives doesn’t understand or
welcome his kink into his home, but I could care less because that is not my problem. Period.

I do not want someone at my beck-and-call, nor do I want someone who has to have me connected to his hip all of the time (and not in the feel-good way). However, if the guy is unwilling to make time in his schedule to get to know me better (responding to email, a phone call here or there) then he isn’t worth the investment of my time in return.

Yes I am submissive but I also assist in setting the pace in the beginning of a relationship. It is ok if I don’t want to rush right into the sexual aspect of things. I have the right to take that part slowly, as long as I am
upfront with the person I am speaking to. Sexual acts represent emotional intimacy for me, so unless I am ready to become emotionally invested/attached with this person, I am going to hold off on any and all sexual acts. A guy that knows this but rushes it anyway, is not for me.

These are boundaries I have to have respected. Otherwise, the person in question doesn’t respect me as a person. Unless I am respected as a person, I cannot be cherished as a submissive. I read a quote on another page a couple days ago and I modify it to fit what I am journaling about.

I desire to be a pampered pet, not an abandoned whore.


Thank you for listening,
elana




elana sweet :: 6:04 PM :: 0 Comments:

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